


The Barbarian's Love

by RoseyR



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Barbarian Tweek - Freeform, Dark Lord Clyde, M/M, South Park: The Stick of Truth, Stick of Truth AU, Thief Craig, jealous tweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-25 23:36:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13223607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseyR/pseuds/RoseyR
Summary: Growing up, Tweek has grown fond of the boy who kept stealing from his tribe every month. Tweek knew his fondness for the boy should be forbidden and he should not have these feelings for someone who kept stealing from him and his people, but he couldn't help it.Tweek was in love with the thief called Feldspar, also known as Craig.





	The Barbarian's Love

There he was again, the young thief who dared to trespass into barbarian territory and steal from them. Either the kid had the balls to do something like this or he was completely insane. Tweek believes it was both. Which is why the young barbarian prince was very fond of the thief.

Every month, Tweek would wait patiently to see if the thief would come and try to steal from them again. Usually what the thief would steal was either some of their food, the treasure that they technically stole themselves, or even some random item that wasn't really valuable in the first place. Nonetheless, all the barbarians in the tribe would chase after the thief with bows and arrows, axes, and swords in their hands. However, no matter how many weapons they have or how fast they were, they could never capture the thief, he was just too fast for them, especially with his ability to make clones of himself.

Tweek would not take part in chasing the thief, he would simply hide in his tent and watch the chase through one of the open flaps. Tweek would sigh dreamily as he watched the thief avoiding his people and managing to escape them all the time. Tweek doesn't really know why he found the thief so appealing, all he knows is that he does want the thief to be captured one day so he could at least talk to him properly. Tweek suddenly recalls the first time he was actually met the thief and the day they first interacted with each other.

* * *

There was a loud alarm. Tweek was startled from the noise and almost broke his favorite bow he was cleaning. Tweek opened the flap of his tent and see what the commotion was about. He saw many of his people, including his father and mother, running with axes and arrows in their hands. Tweek noticed a guard was standing by his tent.

"U-um...what's going on?"

"A thief had dared himself to trespass our domain your highness," the guard said.

"R-really? Wow...that thief must really be stupid...oh well...guess once we capture the guy we'll have another beheading ceremony," Tweek closed his eyes and smiled to himself. He went back inside his tent and continued readjusting his bow and cleaning it.

Tweek suddenly noticed that the commotion outside lasted longer than usual. Usually when a thief dares to steal from the barbarians, they managed to capture them very quickly, so why was there still loud screams coming from outside? Tweek was getting worried, he opened the flap of his tent and walked outside.

A figure suddenly ran past him. For a mere second, the young barbarian prince saw a young boy, who was probably around the same age as him, running past him. In that mere second, Tweek swore their eyes met. Tweek quickly turned his head and watched as a boy, who was probably five years old like him, is running much faster than any other thief he has seen before. Tweek was actually impressed.

Tweek suddenly took a step back when his people started running pass him and continued chasing the thief. Tweek also noticed that a few of his people were slowing down and trying to catch their breaths before resuming the chase. Tweek was really astonished, he has never seen his people actually get tired from chasing someone as low as a thief. Whoever this thief was is merely not a normal thief. Tweek was very intrigued.

Finally, the thief ran through the forest and yelled back. "I shall return next month to steal more of your goods you stupid barbarians! For I am Feldspar, the greatest thief of Zaron!" All the barbarians growled in frustration and tried to chase him through the woods, but they soon lost the boy and gave up.

Tweek's father threw his ax down and stomped inside his tent. Tweek followed him.

"Who was that father?" Tweek said in his people's native tongue.

"Don't know. But if that thief comes back, we will be ready and we will give him a slow and painful death! No matter if he is a mere child!"

Tweek gulped and shivered at the thought. Even though he wasn't really born into the barbarian tribe nor was he actually the son of the king and queen of the barbarians, he was glad these people accepted him when he his family all died from a dreadful disease. He was also very glad that the barbarians accepted him into their tribe instead of killing him right there and then. Tweek was very thankful to the barbarians, but there were times when he was truly petrified from them.

After everyone finally calmed down after the thief escaped from them, they all resumed their daily task in the tribe. Tweek couldn't help but have his mind wander back on the boy who actually managed to escape the barbarians, he couldn't help but think the thief was very brave to actually steal the barbarians...the barbarians...actually, Tweek has no idea what the thief stole from them.

"Um...father...what exactly did the thief steal from us?" Tweek asked.

The king thought about it, "actually...he did not steal any of our treasures or our food...he simply stole a blue hat that one of our people bought from a nearby market."

Tweek quickly thought that the thief was a complete idiot and was not brave, but simply insane.

* * *

Tweek couldn't sleep, he still had nightmares of seeing his original family slowly dying from that terrible disease that occurred. Tweek still doesn't understand why that disease never got to him, but all he knows is that he misses his original parents and his siblings. With a sigh, knowing he won't be able to go to sleep, Tweek decided to take a little walk through the forest and possibly watch the stars to calm his mind.

As soon as Tweek find the perfect spot in the forest to watch the stars, he sat down at the base of one of the trees and watched the sky. Tweek wondered if parents and siblings were happy wherever they are. Tweek sighed sadly and continued watching the stars to calm his mind. Suddenly, the leaves above were shaking, which caused the young barbarian to jump away from the tree and look up.

It was him. It was the thief.

The thief stared at him, as if he finally noticed he was there. The thief didn't say anything, he simply stared at the young barbarian and then look up, watching the stars, just like Tweek was doing. Tweek didn't know how to feel about this, he didn't know whether he should be scared or angry at the fact that the thief wasn't running and probably thought he was no threat.

The thief really was brave.

"H-hey...y-you stole from us!" Tweek said. The thief said nothing, but continued looking at the sky. This angered the barbarian. "Y-you better bring back what you stole and receive your punishment!" Once again, the thief said nothing, he simply ignored him and look at the sky. "Nnnngg! You better listen! I know what you stole isn't really that valuable to us...but you still stole from barbarians! That cannot go unpunished!" Again, the thief called Feldspar ignored him. "Augh!"

Tweek quickly sat down and sigh in frustration. How dare this lowly thief ignore him, and he always thought that barbarians were rude people. Tweek looked up and decide to speak to him again. "F-fine, be like that! When you come back and try to steal from us, we'll capture you and we'll torture you until you finally die! The we'll see who's laughing!" Tweek smirked, he peeked at the thief, but the thief was unfazed, he interest was more towards the stars. Tweek frowned, but decided to look up. No wonder the thief wasn't paying attention, the stars look more pretty than usual and they were more bright as well. "Wow...they actually look more...pretty."

"...Yeah...they are," the thief finally spoke.

Tweek was surprised that the thief finally spoke to him, even a little. Tweek couldn't help but smile and blush. Tweek continued to sit against the tree and watched the stars with the thief. Tweek only wishes that he could climb up and sit next to the thief on that branch as well, just so they can watch the stars together.

The next morning, Tweek finally woke up and noticed that he was still in the forest. He fell asleep without realizing. Tweek looked up and noticed the thief was gone. Tweek was disappointed.

"What a jerk, first he didn't think I was a threat, he ignored me, and now he left without..." Tweek suddenly looked down and noticed that a familiar looking cape was covering his body. The cape belonged to the thief. Tweek blushed and couldn't help but bring the cape closer to his face. Tweek also noticed a letter next to him. The letter said, "I'll be stealing this back next month, so don't dirty it up." Tweek also noticed the word "Craig" was crossed out and next to it was the name the thief told to his people. "Huh...so that's his real name huh? ...Craig..." Tweek couldn't help but like that name.

* * *

The next month, as promised, the thief was back. Tweek thought of joining the chase in hopes of capturing the thief himself, just so he can talk to him. With his bow and arrow, he joined the party in chasing after the thief called Feldspar.

After a couple of minutes, Tweek managed to be the closet at chasing Feldspar. Tweek was thankful for his lanky body, he was much quicker in running because of his light body. Tweek was so close, but he was getting very tired and knows he'll be slowing down soon. As if fate was being generous to Tweek, Feldspar accidentally tripped on a rock he didn't noticed and fell to the ground. Tweek was a bit worried that he was injured somewhere, but sighed in relief when he noticed no serious injuries.

Tweek raised his bow and arrow and aimed it at the thief. Suddenly, Tweek noticed something was on top of the thief's head. It was the hat he stole. Tweek stared at it and couldn't help but giggle. His entire body started shaking and he started to let out a full blown laugh. Knowing that the thief stole that blue hat just so he could wear it was very funny to Tweek. When Tweek finally calmed down, he fully expected the thief to run off, instead, the thief was standing very close to him.

"Eeek!" Tweek took a step back and almost fell, but the thief quickly caught him. The thief stared at him, his expression was unreadable. Nonetheless, Tweek blushed at how close they were.

Yelling could be heard from behind them, Tweek turned around and saw that his people will be here soon. Tweek turned back around and saw that the thief was already gone. Tweek suddenly touched his neck and noticed something was missing.

The cape that the thief left with him is gone. The thief really did stole back his cape. Tweek couldn't help but sigh dreamily, and only wished he could have kept that cape.

Later that night, Tweek was informed that the thief has stolen nothing but a piece of day old bread that they were planning on throwing out and give it to the birds.

* * *

Every month, the thief would come back to the barbarian tribe and steal some random knick knack from them. As time progressed and both Tweek and Feldspar grew older, the thief has finally started stealing things that were more valuable such as their treasures or their food, but he continued to steal random crap that the barbarians didn't really care about, but continue to chase after because of their principles on someone stealing from them.

Tweek would either join the group in chasing them, but only to admire the thief instead of capturing him, or he would simply stay in his tent and watch the chase. Tweek couldn't help but let his heart flutter every time the thief successfully managed to escape from his people. Each time his people weren't able to capture him, they would get more and more frustrated.

"Auggghhhh!"

"Darling, please don't be so angry. You'll worsen your health," Tweek's barbarian mother said.

"I will not calm down till that damn bastard's head is mounted and hanging on these damn walls!"

Tweek shivered at the thought. Even though he wants the thief to be captured, he didn't want him to be killed, he simply wanted to talk to him properly.

"I know darling, but please do not be so angry in front of Tweek, what example are we giving him? Especially since he'll be a king very soon," his mother said.

"...You're right darling...you're right...Tweek, forgive me for being so angry."

"I-it's alright....I know you're very angry and all...but why don't we just talk to him instead of threatening to kill him. I bet he would stop stealing if we ask him politely," Tweek said.

"Tweek...you have a heart of gold...but you know our code. Once you steal from a barbarian, it's your head!" Tweek gulped and quickly nodded. His father sighed, "Besides...even if we talk to him, he doesn't seem the type to listen...believe me young Tweek, that boy is a troublemaker! Do not go anywhere near him. Understood?"

Tweek sighed and nodded, "Yes sir."

Later that night, Tweek headed to the forest. Tweek has started to do this every time the thief came back to steal from them every month. Every night, Tweek would walk out and go to the very tree he met the thief the first time when they were five.

Upon seeing the familiar figure, sitting against the three on a high branch, Tweek greeted him. "C-Craig! Hello!" Ever since Tweek found out his real name, Tweek decided to call him by his real name instead of Feldspar or the thief when it was only them.

Craig looked at Tweek and nodded in acknowledgement of his presence. Craig then resumes to look up at the stars. Tweek sat on the ground and watched the sky as well. He wanted to ask Craig if it was alright to sit next to him on the branch, but he was too afraid. Besides, Craig never once spoken or started any conversation with him. He would simply nod his head, while Tweek said something to him. Tweek only wished that the thief would speak to him, even a simple word would make him feel happy.

"...Why do you always come here?" Tweek jumped when Craig finally spoke to him. He felt his heart pounding.

It took a couple of seconds before Tweek finally replied, "u-um...what do you-"

"I mean, why do you always come here after I steal from your people? I thought you guys would be so prideful and angry and I thought once you saw me, you would try to shoot me down or something."

"Oh...well...I don't know...it wasn't like you were doing anything wrong technically...I mean...sure...stealing is still wrong, but you haven't stolen anything too valuable from us...actually even the treasure you stole wasn't something we would care too much since you only stole very little..."

"Huh...still...why do you come here?"

"..." Tweek didn't know what to say, he didn't want to tell the thief he came here just to see him, so he decided to come up with a half lie, "I...can't sleep that well, so I usually walk through the forest and look at the stars to clear my mind."

"...Huh..." Craig said and continued looking up.

"....Why do you always come here after you steal from us?" Tweek asked.

"...Same like you...I come here to think. I need a break from being in the Grand Wizard's factions," Craig said.

"Y-you work for the G-grand Wizard!?"

"Yeah I guess. I'm his trusty thief...though I feel like I'm getting the shit end of the appreciation pole," Craig said.

"How so?"

"Well...while the fatass and that High Elf become buddy buddy and be bring peace to this land and stopping any threat that comes to Zaron, I'm being treated as if I don't belong...and it really pisses me off," Craig said.

"That must suck," Tweek said.

"It does...I don't know...I sometimes wonder if I should just leave and go somewhere else," Craig said.

Tweek definitely didn't want that, that would mean the thief would never come to his tribe and steal from them again, that would mean he would never see him again.

"W-well...w-why do you come to steal from my people anyways then?"

"Eh...I heard you guys always capture many thieves that steal from you, so since I thought I was the greatest, I thought I could destroy that record of yours. I did, and it was fun."

"So you stealing random stuff....?"

"I don't particularly want to steal from you guys, but I know just coming there and not stealing anything would take away the fun, so that's why I'm stealing random crap, knowing you guys and your principles," Craig said.

"Huh...I see," Tweek said.

The two fell silent. Tweek's heart was still beating, Craig actually talked to him. He actually replied and full on had a conversation with him. Tweek was very happy.

"...Hey...you know...I bet you can't see the stars all the way down there...wanna come up here?" Craig asked.

"R-really? You sure?"

"Don't make me say it twice, this is the only time I'm being nice," Craig said.

Tweek smiled and climbed up the tree. Tweek carefully sat next to Craig as the two watched the sky together. Tweek only hoped the branch won't snapped from their weight. The two watched the sky and enjoy each other's company. Tweek was very happy.

The next morning, Tweek actually finds himself in his tent instead of sleeping outside at the tree. Tweek can only think that once he fell asleep, Craig carried him back to his tent without anyone seeing him. Tweek couldn't help but blush. Tweek suddenly noticed a note next to his pillow.

"It was nice having someone I can tell these feelings too. You're not so bad for a barbarian. I'll see you next month your highness. Your friend, Craig."

Tweek couldn't help but smile. Craig was now his friend, and Tweek only hope they can be more than friends in the near future.

* * *

Ever since then, Tweek has become more bold into asking Craig personal questions that gave Tweek an image of what Craig is really like. He finds out that Craig is a bit of a badmouthed, stubborn, stoic type of person. Nonetheless, Tweek loves him even more.

"Hey...why did you steal that hat the first time you came to my tribe?" Tweek asked.

"Mmm...guess I kinda liked it...does it look good on me?"

"Yeah...it does," Tweek blushed, he was glad the dark hid his face.

"Good, not only do I have to keep my reputation of being the best thief ever, but I also gotta make sure I have a good appearance when I'm out there stealing for the wizard and the High Elf."

"I see..." Tweek nodded, "so...um...how old are you?"

"Ten. It was my birthday a couple of months ago," Craig said.

"Oh...I wish I could have gotten you something then..."

"Don't worry about it, the day I came to your tribe wasn't the day of my birthday, I was actually celebrating it with my family back home," Craig said.

"Still, I wish I could have gotten you something," Tweek said.

"...When's your birthday?"

"Um...in a couple of days actually...I'll also turn ten soon. I wish you could come and celebrate...but I know you only come to steal from my people once a month," Tweek said.

"...Right," Craig said.

A couple of days later, there was a huge celebration for Tweek's tenth birthday. Tweek smiled happily at everyone who came to celebrate. That night, as he entered his tent to go to bed, he noticed a box on his bed. Tweek looked at it and saw a name tag. It was from Craig. Tweek's heart started beating fast. He opened the box and saw a small knife inside. Tweek held it up and smiled. He also noticed a small note.

"Happy birthday, sorry I couldn't come and celebrate, got some business to do. At the very least, I could give you a present. Hope you like it, it's from my own personal collection. See you next month. Your friend, Craig."

Tweek smiled and carefully held the knife lovingly. "Thank you Craig."

* * *

Every month, the two got closer and closer. At least that is what Tweek liked to believed. The two would share each other's favorite stories and show each other's favorite weapons.

"I usually like holding the bow and arrow since I feel like I have more control over it," Tweek said.

"Huh, no wonder. I've actually seen you use that once when you and your people were doing some training," Craig said.

"Y-you were spying on us?"

"Eh...I usually watch you guys for a bit before I actually start stealing from you," Craig said.

"Huh...n-no wonder I kept feeling like someone's eyes were on me," Tweek said.

"Sorry...you want me to stop?"

"...No." Tweek smiled. Craig raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't questioned it.

The two have indeed gotten closer, but Tweek only wished that Craig would get the hint that he likes him, and only hope that Craig would like him back.

"...Hey Tweek...can I tell you something?"

"Sure. Of course," Tweek said.

"...Have you...have you ever had feelings for someone?" Craig asked as he hid his face behind his cape.

Tweek's cheeks grew red and his heart was beating fast, "...yeah...I have."

"Huh...so when you like someone...w-what would you do?"

"...Well..." Tweek looked up at the sky and avoided making eye contact with him, "I feel like you should...take him somewhere special...like this place...I bet they'll really love walking here during the day since it's so pretty and majestic...then I feel like you should talk to them...warm them up a bit...and when the time comes...tell them how you feel..."

"How do you know they won't reject my feelings?"

"...They won't...I know they won't," Tweek smiled.

"...Thanks Tweek," Craig smiled. The two sat there and watched the stars. "...I think...I think I'll probably do that tomorrow."

Tweek's heart was beating even faster, he couldn't help the grin that was forming on his face. "Good...the sooner the better," Tweek said happily. The two stayed silent for the rest of the night, Tweek feeling very happy and excited for tomorrow.

* * *

The next day, Tweek told his parents he was going to be in the forest to pick some berries.

"Alright Tweek, stay safe."

"Yes mother," Tweek said. He grabbed his bow and arrows, and headed to the forest.

Tweek was nervous, he wondered how Craig was going to confess to him. Was it going to be romantic? No, he knows Craig, he's the type to be straightforward. However, thinking how he acted last night, Tweek couldn't help but imagine Craig standing in front of him, looking shy and having a hard time telling his feelings to him. The thought made Tweek's heart beat.

Upon reaching their normal meeting spot, Tweek suddenly hear voices. One of them was Craig's, but another one sounded similar to his, but still different. Who was that? Tweek hid behind the tree and spotted Craig with...the previous dark lord. Clyde. Tweek nearly gasped.

"So...Craig...why did you bring me here?" Clyde asked.

"Um...well...uh.." Craig's face was a bit red, and Tweek finally realized that the person Craig liked wasn't him, it was the dark lord himself.

Tweek recalled a time when the dark lord took the Stick of Truth a long time ago, but luckily, the new king of Zaron, King Douchebag, managed to defeat him and the Grand Wizard banished the dark lord in space and time...at least for a moment until the High Elf felt sorry for the guy and decided he can continue being the dark lord of his kingdom, as long as he doesn't actually do anything evil and be a total asshole. The dark lord promised and he has not once done anything to cause harm to anyone in Zaron.

Tweek also remembered a conversation with Craig that there was a time that Craig actually joined the dark lord's side, saying it was because he had the stick and the dark lord ordered him to be part of his side. Tweek didn't mind since it looks like Craig managed to get back on the Grand Wizard's good side, but he was still surprised at the thought of Craig joining the dark lord's side so easily.

"What is it Craig? Your face is really red," Clyde said as he looked at his previous partner.

"...W-what do you think of me?"

"Oh...well...you were pretty cool...you were also very loyal...and I'm very thankful of you helping me...even though we were defeated by the king," Clyde chuckled dryly.

"Yeah...I still have scars from that day," Craig sighed.

"Oh yeah," Clyde laughs, he suddenly goes silent. "I honestly feel bad for taking the Stick and using it for evil...all the people I hurt...I...I didn't mean it you know," Clyde said.

"Of course I know, you only did it because those assholes didn't appreciate your hard work," Craig said.

"Yeah...you know...sometimes I really think you're the only one that gets me...maybe that's why I chose you to help me rule Zaron...guess that's in the past now...I'm just happy we're best friends," Clyde said.

"Yeah...best friends...which is why I have something to tell you," Craig said. Tweek gulped, his palms were sweaty, his throat were dry. Craig was going to tell him.

"Oh? What is it?"

"Well...I um...I" Tweek didn't know what he was doing, but he was taking out one of his arrows and getting his bow ready. "I...I've known you for awhile and after the whole being defeated by the king...I um...I" Tweek pulled back the arrow. "I just...I want to tell you that I-" Tweek shot the arrow. Tweek's eyes suddenly went wide after realizing what he has done. What was worse, he was the best shooter in his tribe, he never misses his target.

"Ah!"

"No!" Tweek shouted, he closed his eyes. He slowly opened his eyes and saw something he never thought of seeing. Craig caught the arrow by the tip. His hand was bleeding. Tweek was frozen.

"W-what the hell was that!? Who is shooting at us!?" Clyde shouted.

"...I don't...know..." Craig said as he took the arrow and examined it. He immediately recognizes the arrow. He looked up and noticed a figure with blonde hair running.

"Is that the asshole!? Let's kill him! Oh wait...if I kill him then the Grand Wizard and High Elf would think I'm revolting again...actually...let's leave him be since it looks like he's going away now..." Clyde said.

"...Right...but I'll deal with this on my own later," Craig said.

"Thanks, you're really the best friend I'll ever have," Clyde smiled. Craig looked at him and smiled sadly. Clyde suddenly told Craig that he's going to be leaving now and forgetting the fact that Craig was suppose to tell him something. Craig didn't bother telling him, he was too confused and hurt at the moment to tell Clyde his feelings anyways.

Tweek managed to run back to his tribe and hide in his tent. Tweek panted and tried his best calm down. He couldn't. The image of Craig confessing to Clyde was too much for him. All he wanted was Craig to be his, all he wanted was Craig to love him back. Why did Craig have to fall for that idiot? He wasn't even a king to begin with, he was suppose to be the Grand Wizard's merchant of Kupa Keep or something. Tweek saw this as being unfair. It was unfair. Completely and utterly unfair.

"Tweek."

"Gah!" Tweek jumped and through teary eyes, he saw it was Craig. "H-how did you get in here without being detected?" Tweek said as he wiped his eyes.

"I've told you, I'm the greatest thief of Zaron, which means I can be very sneaky when I want to. Now tell me...why did you do that?" Craig glared at Tweek.

"I...I don't know what you're-"

"Don't fucking lie!" Craig growled, causing the blonde to flinch. "Don't you dare lie...I saw you...this is definitely your arrow. You're the only I know who knows where are favorite spot it...you knew I would be there...so why...why did you do that? Too humiliate me? To make me feel insecure about my feelings? Why? Why the fuck would you do that!? Is it because you barbarians-"

"It's because I love you you idiot!" Tweek shouted. Fresh tears came out of his eyes. He couldn't bare to listen to Craig's harsh words. He couldn't bare to listen to it any longer.

"...What?"

"Wasn't it obvious? I fucking love you...but you never noticed...and you had the fucking gall to tell your feelings to that idiot at our spot!? Didn't you noticed the hints I gave you? Didn't you fucking noticed anything? My advice, how happy I was when you told me you had feelings for someone...I just thought you were going to confess to me...I thought you were going to tell me you loved me!" Tweek shouted.

"Tweek...I do care about you...I just...I never thought we could be together since-"

"Since what? I'm a barbarian and you are a thief? A thief that keeps stealing from us every month because he was bored!? Well you know what, fuck you! I don't want you anywhere near my tribe, I don't want you anywhere near that tree, I don't want you anywhere near me! I want you to go away! I don't want to be your friend anymore!"

"Tweek...calm down," Craig said as he took a step back while Tweek started moving towards him and pushing him.

"I hate you Craig! I fucking hate you! I wish you would go away and die!" Tweek suddenly shoved him hard, out of the tent, causing many of the barbarians nearby to see the thief.

"It's him!" one of the barbarians gasped.

Tweek suddenly realized what he has done, he has sent Craig to his death.

"Get him!" the king shouted. Everyone ran towards Craig and Craig quickly got up and tried running, but because of how close everyone was already, he was finally caught.

"We finally got the little bastard!" Everyone cheered and even started throwing Craig around as if he was nothing but a bag of potatoes.

Tweek shrieked at the sight and tried to save him. "L-let him go!" Tweek shouted.

"Eh? Your highness?"

"Tweek? What is the meaning of this?"

"Please father, let him go...he's merely a child!" Tweek begged.

"You know the law Tweek, no matter if he be a man, woman, elder, or child. Those who steal from barbarians are punished with beheading," he said.

"Please, no!" Tweek said as he managed to grabbed Craig's cape and hugged it with dear life.

"Tweek?"

"...I love him father! Please...please don't kill the one I love!" Tweek begged. Tears wouldn't stop coming out.

"Tweek!" Tweek's mother gasped.

"This...this is an insult to our very own tribe! My son...dare to fall for a lowly thief!?"

"Hey...you guys technically stole crap from others too you know," Craig said, but became silent when a sword was pointed at his throat.

"I don't care...I fell for him...and that's all that matters to me...so if you kill him then kill me too!" Tweek exclaimed.

"Tweek..." his mother looked at him with sad eyes.

"...You are no longer my son...you are now a stranger...just like before...leave now...leave and never come back. I will not say it a second time," Tweek's father said.

"...Father..."

"Get out!"

Tweek took a step back and looked at everyone. No one dared to look at him, no one dared to interject, no one dared to help or say anything. He looked at his mother, she cried and dared not to look at him. Tweek then looked at Craig, who looked at him with sad eyes. The look Craig gave him was as if he was apologizing for everything he has done. Tweek looked down and suddenly realize who he can turn to for help.

Wiping his tears, Tweek ran towards the forest. He ran past the spot Craig and he would meet every month at night. He kept running and running until he reached the castle of the king of Zaron himself.

King Douchebag.

* * *

"Your highness, a young barbarian child has come to seek your help."

The king looked at him and gestured to let the young barbarian to come in and meet with him.

"Yes your highness." The guard quickly headed towards the door and opened it. Tweek quickly ran towards the king and stopped near the steps.

"Y-your highness...I'm sorry for coming in here unannounced and for rudely coming here without permission, but I beg for you help!" Tweek said.

"How dare you ask for the king's help you sav-" the king raised a hand and order for his adviser to stand down. The king got off his throne and walked towards Tweek. He placed a hand on Tweek's shoulder.

"...Are you going to help?" Tweek asked. The king nodded. Tweek smiled, "thank you! Now here's the problem, the love of my life is the thief called Feldspar and he's been stealing from us, but he finally got caught and he's going to die! Please come with me and stop my dad from killing him!" Tweek begged.

The king stared at him with a blank stare and helped Tweek up. He gestured something to his guards the they quickly left the castle. The king led Tweek outside. Tweek saw the guards from before had horses.

"O-oh...I see, riding horses will take us back to my tribe much more quicker...but I'm going to warn you...I'm not much of a horse rider so I don't know if I-" Tweek was suddenly pulled by the king and suddenly found himself on a horse. The king smack the horse's rear and the horse started galloping. "Wahhh!" Tweek shouted. The king got on his horse and soon followed them.

The two finally reached Tweek's tribe and Tweek saw in horror at how close the ceremony was going to end.

"Oh no! They've already started, or at least their close to finishing!" Tweek shouted.

"..." The king mounted off the horse and Tweek followed after. The two quickly ran towards the ceremony. Tweek watched in horror as his father raised the ceremonial ax and was about to cut off Craig's head.

"No!" Tweek shouted as he quickly ran and shielded Craig's body with his.

"Tweek?"

"How dare you!?"

"No! I won't let you kill him! I love him father...wow...this feels very familiar for some reason..." Tweek said.

"I agree..." Craig said underneath him.

"I don't care how much you love him Tweek, this thief needs to be punished.

"But can you really punish someone who also loves your son?" a feminine voice suddenly said. Everyone turned their heads till they looked at the king.

"Uh...what...your...highness?" Tweek's father asked.

"I'm saying...this thief...true his intention of stealing was so he could have some fun, but it was also because he wanted to impress this young boy. The thief called Feldspar is in love with you son as well," the king said.

"W-what!?" Tweek exclaimed and looked at Craig, who was slightly blushing.

"Yes, the young thief is in love with the young barbarian prince. If I recall, when a someone from your tribe falls for an outsider and the outsider returns their feelings, that would mean you would celebrate their love and let the outsider live if they have broken any laws," the king said.

"Well um..but your highness-"

"Enough...if you don't let this young thief go and allow them to be together...I won't hesitate to destroy your tribe with my...ability," the king said. Everyone gasped and covered their noses and mouths.

"No no no...w-we'll...we'll let the thief live...if he proves that he loves my son," he said.

"...Alright...Tweek, let Craig up and show them your love," the king said.

"W-what!?"

"Just do it Tweek," Craig said.

Tweek stared at everyone, from the people, to his father, to his mother, to the king or technically queen, then finally to Craig. Tweek gulped, but helped Craig up and untie the rope. Tweek stared at Craig and he stared at him. Craig looked down and then back up to Tweek.

"...I love you, Tweek," Craig said. It wasn't a lie, and Tweek knows it. Craig leaned forward and kissed Tweek on the lips. Tweek was frozen, he never thought he would finally be kissing Craig. He was so happy. Tweek kissed him back. The kiss ended way too quickly, and Craig pulled back. He turned his head and looked at Tweek's father and the king. Tweek did the same.

"...See...they're totally in love," the king said.

"...I guess you're right...forgive me Tweek."

"It's alright dad...can you...can you please forgive Craig for stealing from us, I'm sure he didn't really mean any harm," Tweek said.

Tweek's father looked at him and sighed, "I suppose so, but if he continues to steal from us, I won't hesitate in chopping off his arm."

"Don't worry sir, I promise to stop stealing from here from now on...especially since I've stolen something more valuable then what I've stolen so far," Craig said.

"W-what's that?" Tweek asked.

"...Your heart," Craig smiled.

"...Oh god...that was so cheesy but so fucking cute I could die," the king gushed.

"...Mind explaining why the king turned out to be a girl?"

"Say anything to the Grand Wizard and the High Elf and I will fart on all of you," the king said.

"Y-your secret is safe with us your highness," the barbarian king said.

"Good...now I think these two need some time for themselves, so I'll escort them somewhere more private," the king said as he grabbed the two by the shoulder and led them towards the forest.

"H-here is fine. Thank you your highness," Tweek said.

"No problem. Now if you don't need me, I'll be heading back, you can keep the horse if you want," the king said.

"Thanks for everything," Craig said.

"Hey, just be glad I don't tell the Grand Wizard what you've been doing this entire time," the king smirked.

"...Um...King Douchebag, why are you pretending to be a boy?"

"...That's a long story that might be revealed in another world," the king smiled and left.

It was only Craig and Tweek now. They didn't speak for awhile. Tweek wondered what Craig did was an act or...something else.

"You were a very good actor C-Craig...maybe you should be in theatre instead of being a thief," Tweek joked.

"I wasn't acting," Craig said.

"...So you actually...you actually meant it?" Tweek blushed.

"...Yeah...I did..."

"Then what about...what about Clyde?" Tweek asked.

"...I do love him...I still do...but knowing him, he'll never return my feelings...but you...you've been in love with me for so long and I never noticed...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry Tweek," Craig said as he held Tweek's cheek.

"...W-when have you been..."

"I don't know...maybe when you told me...maybe when we first met...maybe I've been in love with you all this time but never realized...I don't know...all I know is that...I do love you...and...if you're willing...will you accept my feelings," Craig blushed.

"..." Tweek looked at him and let the tears fall. Tweek hugged Craig and cried in his shoulder. "Yes! I accept! I love you Craig, I love you so much!"

"I love you Tweek."

"I love you Craig."

The two sat together against their tree, and instead of watching the sky for stars, they simply talk to each other and holding hands.

* * *

"...What the fuck is this Cartman?" Kyle sighed as he finished reading Cartman's story. "How the fuck does this relate to us and the Stick of Truth?"

"Don't look at me, Douchebag said it would be a good idea to write something like this! It would help us make lots of money for those fantasy loving nerds," Cartman said.

"How exactly? This seems more gay than fantasy honestly...in fact, it doesn't even involve us at all, it only focused on Craig and Tweek as their Stick of Truth personas," Kyle sighed.

"Like I said, don't look at me, blame it on Douchebag for telling me to write this," Cartman said.

"How exactly? We all know that Douchebag doesn't talk...also why did you make Douchebag a girl secretly? It's obvious Douchebag is a boy...right?" Kyle asked.

"I'm sure we would get in trouble if we even try to say anything about it," Craig said.

"Gah! Y-yeah...but it was a c-cute story. I like it...I don't really mind who actually wrote it," Tweek said.

"I don't know...it's sorta...too sweet for my taste you guys," Stan said.

Kenny muffled, "yeah, and how come I wasn't even mentioned? I'm the princess you know."

"Shut up, Princess Kenny," Cartman sighed.

"..."

"Douchebag, tell these assholes that you were the one who told me to write it!" Cartman ordered.

"Stop blaming Douchebag and take responsibility fatass!"

"Fuck you you fucking Jewish elf!"

"I'm gonna kill you!" Kyle lunged towards Cartman and started beating him up.

"There they go again, come on Kenny, let's stop them before they break one of my mom's vases," Stan said as he and Kenny try to stop them.

"Well if we're done here, me and Tweek are going to go home," Craig said as he grabbed Tweek's hand and the two left Stan's house.

Once they were outside, Tweek started talking. "Y-you don't think that story was t-that bad...was it?"

"...I mean...it's too girly for my taste...but I guess it wasn't that bad...I guess," Craig sighed.

"Great...but I do have one complaint for the ending though," Tweek said.

"Oh? Like what?"

"Well...you know how Feldspar said he stole Tweek's heart?"

"...Yeah?" Craig asked as he raised a brow.

Tweek smiled and whispered into Craig's ear. "I'm pretty sure it was I who stole your heart." Tweek pulled away and couldn't help but giggle at Craig's expression. He was completely red in the face.

"...G-god damn it Tweek...I hate it when you're this b-bold," Craig stuttered as he pulled his chullo hat down to hide his face.

"Love you too babe," Tweek grinned. Tweek grabbed his hand and the two walked home together.

By Stan's window, Douchebag watched the whole thing and started writing on their notepad. "And they all lived happily ever after...right Princess Kenny?"

"Yep," Kenny giggled like a princess.

"Kenny! Douchebag! Stop looking like total creepers and help me over here!"

**Then End.**


End file.
